Granger's Revenge
by angelrider93
Summary: ONESHOT Hermione gets sick of Malfoy and his Slytherin cronies picking on all the other students so decides to show that they are just as good. Summary sucks but story is better please read. DMHG sort of


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Harry Potter, nor do i own any of the songs in this fic they belong to the pussycat dolls.**

This fic has been playing its self over and over in my head for weeks, like a ban rerun. It didn't turnout how i wanted it to, but i can't find another way to write it.

USE YOUR IMAGINATION WHEN IT COMES TO THE DANCING AS I WASN'T VERY DESCRIPTIVE, JUST IMAGINE HOW YOU WOULD DANCE TO THE SONGS AND GO FROM THERE, OR WATCH THE FILM CLIPS TO THE SONGS AND YOU WILL GET AN IDEA ABOUT HOW DANCE GOES.

**I hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

**

Granger's Revenge

"Nobody will ever want you for their girlfriend Granger, you are nothing. You have no shape and what little shape you do have you hide under horrible clothes. You are the Longbottom of the female variety, oh wait are you even female?" Draco Malfoy sneered as his Slytherin friends laughed behind him. Hermione Granger stood still, compressing her lips together in fury to stop herself from hexing the blonde Head Boy's head off,

"How would you know what I look like under my robes Malfoy? Been spying on me in the heads bathroom?" Hermione retorted, forcing her voice not to betray her rage,

"Just an educated guess Granger, like I would want to spy on you" Malfoy smirked,

"Count your lucky stars then that I don't have to hex your balls off for being a pervert" Malfoy's eyes widened at her language,

"No need to use such language Granger, tsk, tsk, what would McGonagall say if she heard that coming from her teachers pet?"

"Oh blow it out your rear Malfoy" Hermione snapped waspishly, as she turned to leave, Malfoy however wasn't going to let her get the last word.

"Just remember what I said Granger, you're not the only ugly girl in this school, there are a few in Hufflepuff as well, and that Looney Lovegood in Ravenclaw, You are the worst of the lot however" Malfoy called after her retreating form.

Hermione stormed back to the Gryffindor common room in disgust, she was hoping that Harry and Ron were there to help her plot revenge,

"Oh the arrogance of that twitchy little ferret, thinking he's so good because he's the self proclaimed Prince of Slytherin" Hermione cursed under her breath as she arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady. Saying the password she entered the portrait and came across a shocking sight. Neville Longbottom was in the otherwise deserted common room with muggle rap music playing, and he was rapping along to the song. Hermione recognized it as the Black eyed peas song 'Hey Mama'. Hermione stayed in the shadows as she watched Neville rap away like he had been doing it for years, never missing a beat. Slowly a smug grin spread across Hermione's face as a plan began to form in her mind on how to get Malfoy back for his comments, as well as boosting the confidence of all the girls and Neville in the process. As Neville finished his song, Hermione came out of the shadows and approached him, Neville looked up embarrassed and shocked as Hermione stopped in front of him.

"H-Hermione, I didn't realize you were there" Neville stammered, Hermione smirked,

"Neville, how would you like to get back at Malfoy, the Slytherins and everyone else who has called you hopeless?".

After telling Neville her idea which he enthusiastically agreed to, albeit he was nervous about it. Hermione went on a mission recruiting all the other girls who had ever been put down for their looks or personality. Eventually she had eight from all three other houses. Hermione went to Dumbledore to put forward her plan, and Dumbledore being the sucker for house unity that he was agreed to help them when the time came. He also gave out a pass to each student participating to allow them out after curfew. Dumbledore promised not to let any of the other teachers know in case it leaked out and ruined the whole effect of what Hermione was planning. With permission granted from the headmaster. Hermione's group spent the next couple of months rehearsing in the room of requirement until they had everything perfect. Finally the night arrived and as Dumbledore had promised the whole school was gathered in the great hall eating dinner. Hermione's group stood outside the doors of the great hall, excited and nervous at what they were about to do.

Draco Malfoy looked up in annoyance as the candle's in the great hall dimmed so it was dark over the tables and yet there was a strip of light running down the centre of the great hall. Tonight the tables were set up differently with the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables on either side of the door and the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables against the wall. Draco had assumed that it was another of the headmasters attempts to get the Slytherins and Gryffindors to get along, but as the headmaster stood up at the head table he figured out that there was indeed another reason,

"Students, tonight we have a special treat for you, a concert from a small group of students who are responding to an unspoken challenge made to them from another group of students" Dumbledore looked straight at the Slytherin table and at Draco in particular before taking his seat again just as the doors of the great hall opened and a group of eight people walked into the hall, led by,

"Is that Granger and Longbottom?" Blaise Zabini asked. Draco nodded but didn't say anything, he was too busy studying the group. He recognized two Hufflepuff seventh years, as well as Brown and Patil from Gryffindor. Looney Lovegood and Patil's twin sister from Ravenclaw made up the rest of the group. Neville was dressed in low riding baggy black jeans with a red hooded jumper and a bandana around his head, the girls were all dressed in their Hogwarts sweaters, shirts and their house ties, but they had tight jeans on that sat on their hips and molded to the curves of their hips, buttocks and legs. Draco's examination was interrupted by the sound of music coming from the four corners of the room, and the group starting to sing and dance.

_huh huh huh huh huh, huh huh huh huh (huh huh huh huh huh, huh huh huh huh) (Girls) _

(Neville rapping)  
It's funny how a man only thinks about the (beep)  
You got a real big heart but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
You got real big brains but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
girl it ain't no pain let me looking at ya...

The girls all started dancing swaying their hips in time to the music.

_(Hermione)  
I don't give a (beep) keep looking at my (beep)cos it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my (beep)  
ha i'm a do my thing while you're playing with ya (beep)ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  
_

During the bridge the girls all turned around, backs facing to the tables, bent over and shook their booty. Every time the beep sounded they slapped their butt.

_(Hermione)  
Every boy's the same since up in the seventh grade they've been trying to get with me, trying to (huh huh huh, huh huh huh(Girls).  
They always got a plan to be my one and only man, wanna hold me with their hands, wanna huh huh huh, huh huh huh.  
I keep turning em down, but they always come around, asking me to go around that's no the way it's going down, cos they only want, only want, my huh huh huh, huh huh huh, only want what they want, but nah ah ah, nah hah hah. _

_(Neville rapping)  
It's funny how a man only thinks about the (beep)  
You got a real big heart but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
You got real big brains but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
girl it ain't no pain let me looking at ya..._

_(Hermione)  
I don't give a (beep) keep looking at my (beep)cos it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my (beep)  
ha i'm a do my thing while you're playing with ya (beep)ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  
_

_  
(Hermione)  
Do you know that no don't mean yes it means no, so just hold up, wait a minute let me put my two cents in it, one, just be patient don't be rushing like you're anxious ... and two you're just too aggressive, trying to get your aaaah  
_

_(Girls)_

_Do you know, that i know, and i don't wanna go there,  
(Hermione) they only want, only want my ha ha ha ha ha ha. only want, what they want but nah ah ah, nah ah ah! _

(Neville rapping)  
It's funny how a man only thinks about the (beep)  
You got a real big heart but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
You got real big brains but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
girl it ain't no pain let me looking at ya...

_(Hermione)  
I don't give a (beep) keep looking at my (beep)cos it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my (beep)  
ha i'm a do my thing while you're playing with ya (beep)ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  
_

Draco noticed that all the guys were watching the girls in awe, Draco himself couldn't tear his eyes off Granger as she sang and danced in time to the beat. He couldn't believe that Granger of all people had a body like that, and the fact that she could sing! That was a real shock.

_  
(Music)  
Ooh, you got it bad, i can tell, you want it bad, but oh well look what you got for me, is something i, something i don't need... hey yeah yeah yeah yeah _

(Neville rapping)  
It's funny how a man only thinks about the (beep)  
You got a real big heart but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
You got real big brains but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
girl it ain't no pain let me looking at ya...

_(Hermione)  
I don't give a (beep) keep looking at my (beep)cos it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my (beep)  
ha i'm a do my thing while you're playing with ya (beep)ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  
_

_(Neville rapping)  
It's funny how a man only thinks about the (beep)  
You got a real big heart but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
You got real big brains but i'm looking at ya (beep)  
girl it ain't no pain let me looking at ya..._

_(Hermione)  
I don't give a (beep) keep looking at my (beep)cos it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my (beep)  
ha i'm a do my thing while you're playing with ya (beep)ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  
_

There was a small pause after the end of the song where all the girls removed their school sweaters and then with a quick wave of Granger's wand all their jeans turned into mini versions of their school skirts, they were short and hugged their hips before flaring out into pleats that came to about a third of the way down to their knees. All the girls wore knee high black scrunched suede boots with stiletto heels. Draco noticed that Granger's shirt was tied up in a knot showing off her taught stomach and was that a diamond piercing in her navel? He didn't have long to contemplate on her navel piercing as the next song started and Longbottom and Granger started singing again while all the girls including Granger started dancing a routine to the beat.

_Neville  
Ok (ahh)  
Yeah (ahh)  
Oh, we about to get it just a lil hot & sweaty in this (oh, baby)  
Ladies let's go (uhh)  
Soldiers let's go (dolls)  
Let me talk to y'all and just you know give you a little situation..listen (fellas) _

Neville  
Ya see this shit get hot  
Everytime I come through when I step up in the spot (are you ready)  
Make the place sizzle like a summertime cookout  
Prowl for the best chick  
Yes I'm on the lookout (lets dance)  
Slow bangin shorty like a belly dancer with it  
Smell good, pretty skin, so gangsta with it (oh, baby)  
No tricks only diamonds under my sleeve  
Gimme tha number  
But make sure you call before you leave

Hermione  
I know you like me (I know you like me)  
I know you do (I know you do)  
That's why whenever I come around she's all over you  
And I know you want it (I know you want it)  
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)  
And in the back of your mind  
I know you should be on with me

Girls  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Don't cha, don't cha  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Don't cha, don't cha

Blaise leaned over to Draco and whispered in his ear while never taking his eyes off the girls dancing,

"You sure opened a can of words with what you said to Granger, but Merlin, who knew that she was hiding a body like that under all those baggy robes"

"I know, makes me wish that I had spied on her in the bathroom"

"Well I for one am glad that she decided to prove you wrong, and who knew that Longbottom could do that muggle rap thing" Draco simply nodded, still keeping his eyes on Granger as she danced._  
_

_Hermione  
Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)  
Leave it alone (leave it alone)  
Cause if it aint love  
It just aint enough to leave a happy home  
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)  
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)  
See, I don't care  
But I know she aint gon wanna share  
Hmmmm... _

Girls  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Don't cha, don't cha, baby  
Don't cha, alright, sing  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me (big thrills)  
Don't cha

"Drakie, stop staring at the Mudblood"

"Shut up Pansy, and don't call me that" Draco snapped, taking his eyes off Hermione to glare at her,

"But she's acting like a slut, prancing around like that" Pansy whined

"At least she can sing and dance" Draco retorted then returned his eyes to the Head Girl, while Pansy sulking, left the great hall.

_  
Neville  
Ok, I see how it's goin' down (ahh, don't cha)  
Seems like shorty wanna little menage pop off or somethin, let's go  
Well let me get straight to it  
Every broad wan watch it when I come through it  
It's the god almighty, lookin all brand new  
If shorty wanna jump in my ass then vanjewish  
Lookin at me all like she really won do it  
Tryna put it on me till my balls black an blueish  
Ya wanna play wit ah playa girl then play on  
Strip out the channel  
And leave the lingerie on  
Watch me and I'ma watch you at the same time  
Lookin at ya wan break my back  
You the very reason why I keep a pack ah the Magnum  
An wit the wagon hit chu in the back of tha magnum  
For the record, don't think it was somethin you did  
Shorty all on me cuz it's hard to resist the kid  
I got a idea that's dope for y'all  
As y'all could get so I could hit the both of y'all _

Hermione  
See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)  
I understand (I understand)  
I'd probably be just as crazy about you  
If you were my own man  
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)  
Possibly (possibly)  
Until then, Oh friend you're secret is safe with me

Girls  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Don't cha, don't cha, baby  
Don't cha, alright, sing  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me (raw)  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me (big thrills)  
Don't cha, don't cha

There was once again another pause as the girls all loosened their ties and left them hanging over their necks. Neville took off his hooded jumper to reveal a black muscle top and surprisingly enough toned arms. Once again the song started but Draco found himself shocked at the words that both Longbottom and Granger were singing, it was a bit more risqué than he thought that either of them would be willing to sing, and in Hermione's case dance to.

_Neville  
What it do babyboo _

Yeah, little mama you lookin' good  
I see you wanna play with a player from the hood  
Come holla at me, you got it like that  
Me, Snoop Dogg, with the lead Pussycat  
I show you how it go down, yeah, I wanna go down  
Me and you, one on one, treat you like a shortay  
You look at me and I look at you  
I'm reachin' for your shirt what you want me to do

Neville reached for Hermione's shirt and Hermione teasingly pulled back as the girls all strode forward and started dancing in among the tables, teasing the guys.

Girls  
I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin' (Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me (Uh Huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I''m telling you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin' (Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)

Hermione walked up to the Slytherin table and standing near Blaise and Draco undid the top three buttons of her shirt as she kept singing and dancing.

_  
Hermione  
Typical  
Hardly the type I fall for  
I like when the physical  
Don't leave me asking for more  
I'm a sexy mama (Mama)  
Who knows just how to get what I wanna (Wanna)  
What I want to do is spring this on ya (On ya)  
Back up all of the things that I told ya (Told ya, told ya, told ya) _

Turning around she leaned her back against Blaise's and slid down slightly then back up again, all the time keeping eye contact with Draco.

You been sayin' all the right things all night long  
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off

she flicked her shirt indicating what she wanted help taking off. Both Slytherin's gulped.

_  
Baby, can't you see? (See)  
How these clothes are fittin' on me? (Me)  
And the heat coming from this beat (Beat)  
I'm about to blow  
I don't think you know _

Hermione walked away from the Slytherin table and walked back to the front of the room and continued the sexy dance that she had choreographed.

Girls  
I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin'(Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

All the girls had opened all the top buttons on their shirts by this stage and were all wearing a black bra that was just visible by now.

_  
I'm tellin you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin' (Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me(Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh huh) _

Hermione  
You say you're a big boy  
But I can't agree  
'Cause the love you said you had  
Ain't been put on me  
I wonder (Wonder)  
If I'm just too much for you  
Wonder (Wonder)  
If my kiss don't make you just  
Wonder (Wonder)  
What I got next for you  
What you want to do? (Do)

Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours  
I can see, just like most guys, that your game don't please  
Baby, can't you see? (See)  
How these clothes are fittin' on me? (Me)  
And the heat coming from this beat (Beat)  
I'm about to blow  
I don't think you know

Girls  
I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin' (Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin' (Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

Neville  
Now you can get what you want  
But I need what I need  
And let me tell you what's crackalackin' before I proceed  
Ima show you where to put it at  
PCD told me, yeah, I thought I saw a Pussycat  
Now roll with the big dog  
All six of y'all on me, now tell me how it feel babydoll  
Ashley, Nicole, Carmin, Jessica, Kimberly, Melody  
You feelin' me?

Girls  
Loosen up my buttons babe!  
Loosen up my buttons babe!  
Yeah baby won't ya Loosen up my buttons babe!  
Loosen up my buttons babe!

_C'mon baby Loosen up my buttons babe!_

_Loosen up my buttons babe!_

_Yeah baby won't ya Loosen up my buttons babe!_

_Loosen up my buttons babe! _

Girls  
I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin' (Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin' (Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

_I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin' (Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)_

_I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep frontin' (Uh)  
Saying what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)_

As the music faded the candle's in the great hall all lit up again indicating the end of the short exhibition. All the students, including quite a few of the Slytherins were standing up and clapping. Hermione and her group all bowed before collecting their discarded clothing and heading back out of the great hall. Hermione stopped next to Draco and smirked down at him, she then pointedly indicated all the male students who were wolf whistling and cat calling at her before she bent down and whispered in his ear,

"Revenge is sweet! Eat your heart out Malfoy!"

* * *

Please read and review but no flames please, as this is not the fic i was hoping it would be.


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